Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Hello Batsh*t, Meet Crazy

So I was sorting through the mail and checking the new journals in at the library today when I noticed one of the envelopes was from the "Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints."

And I thought to myself, "Really? The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints wasn't fundamentalist enough for you, you had to make your own especially fundamentalist offshoot?"

But then it gets oh. so. much. better.

Because, contrary to my expectations, they did not send us your run-of-the-mill unsolicited magazine. No, instead they sent us your run-of-the-mill unsolicited doomsday "warnings to the nations of the earth."

Apparently Jesus (now going by the nickname "Son Ahman" - guess I missed that memo) had a very busy March, April, and May, which he spent dictating 163 pages worth of warnings to the president of this sect.

Though the Lord repeatedly warns that his day is immanently drawing nigh, the receiver of these messages did not see fit to dispatch them poste-haste, but rather took the time to get them copyrighted.

Because what - he was afraid Jesus was giving the same dictation to some other guy in Utah at the same time?

I didn't realize plagiarism was such a problem among latter-day prophets. . .

1 comment:

Cat's Staff said...

This is the same FLDS that was raided a couple years ago in Texas. Warren Jeffs is in prison and this is his "You better let me go, or else God will get you" ramblings. Apparently the only way to see them is by ordering the hard copy. I would think an important message like this would be something they would want to give away for free. Or better yet, God could just leave the message on his YouTube account.

As far as the plagiarism goes...why mess with something that works. Just think of what would have happened if the Babylonians had copyrighted the Enuma Elish.