Things I did not know before tonight:
1. Copland interjected "Fanfare for the Common Man"(which he had written 2-3 years prior) into the last movement of his 3rd Symphony.
2. Jorja Fleezanis left the Minnesota Orchestra. 2 years ago (guess I'm a little behind the times). For as long as I can remember going to orchestra concerts, she had been the concertmaster - I was actually sad when she didn't come out to tune the orchestra tonight. :(
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Why It's Good I Have a Strong Inner Monologue
Our class led chapel today. Dr. Keifert was the preacher and I was the presider.
The thing about liturgy is: it takes a lot of focus and mental energy to lead well, you are always thinking two or three steps ahead of the assembly while simultaneously being present in the moment and making it all look smooth and effortless.
The other thing about liturgy is: it is a lot easier to sustain the kind of focus required when one is in a regular rhythm of leading.
And the thing about liturgy in this particular context: leading it at Luther is a bit nerve-wracking. In theory it shouldn't be - as a place full of pastors-in-training it should be a place where people are free to flounder and fail on their way to refining these skills. But in reality it is a place full of pressure to perform at the peak of one's game.
Part of that pressure comes from my own inner perfectionist wanting to "get the A" from my peers and professors, especially since I'm no longer a pastor-in-training but have been a real live pastor for a number of years now. But part of the pressure is definitely embedded in the system - if there were 50 people in the congregation here today, I can guarantee there were probably 55 opinions on how to properly preside over communion. ;)
Anyway, I was presiding today. And though I got back into a regular rhythm of presiding this summer when I was covering for Jen, I hadn't led worship since the end of July. I was a bit rusty going in this morning, which only served to amplify the anxiety of leading in this context.
I was also tired, having spent most of yesterday traveling back from the East Coast, and had a sinus headache due to the change in weather.
And the service was running long. As I walked back up to the chancel at the end of the peace, Dr. Keifert whispered to me "We need to move it along."
So as I approached the altar to begin the communion liturgy, I was trying to pick up the pace while remaining articulate in an echoey room and also not appear to be racing through the liturgy. I was also trying to remember to say "new testament" instead of "new covenant" in the words of institution, as that would tie directly to what Dr. K said in his sermon.
I made it through all that just fine.
But at the end of it, I completely forgot to lead us into the Lord's Prayer.
The congregation knew it, they didn't sit down the first time I gestured for them to sit down.
I still hadn't realized my mistake so gestured again, that time they sat.
I realized my mistake after communion was over, when I finally flipped the page in the leader book and saw, not the post-communion blessing that I expected, but the Lord's Prayer staring back at me.
This is why it's good I have a strong inner monologue because inside my head I went "Oh SH*T!" Thankfully that didn't also come out my mouth and into the rockstar microphone wrapped around my ear.
I was completely embarrassed, I'm sure my ears flushed as red as my hair through the close of the service.
Despite the glaringly obvious flub, several friends and professors were kind enough to compliment my presence up front and gracious enough to chuckle about the mistake as a good reminder of our imperfect humanity.
I used to joke about this in the parish, but the kindness of these others affirmed it once again today: it seems a decent voice and a pretty pectoral cross will cover a plethora of liturgical sins. :)
The thing about liturgy is: it takes a lot of focus and mental energy to lead well, you are always thinking two or three steps ahead of the assembly while simultaneously being present in the moment and making it all look smooth and effortless.
The other thing about liturgy is: it is a lot easier to sustain the kind of focus required when one is in a regular rhythm of leading.
And the thing about liturgy in this particular context: leading it at Luther is a bit nerve-wracking. In theory it shouldn't be - as a place full of pastors-in-training it should be a place where people are free to flounder and fail on their way to refining these skills. But in reality it is a place full of pressure to perform at the peak of one's game.
Part of that pressure comes from my own inner perfectionist wanting to "get the A" from my peers and professors, especially since I'm no longer a pastor-in-training but have been a real live pastor for a number of years now. But part of the pressure is definitely embedded in the system - if there were 50 people in the congregation here today, I can guarantee there were probably 55 opinions on how to properly preside over communion. ;)
Anyway, I was presiding today. And though I got back into a regular rhythm of presiding this summer when I was covering for Jen, I hadn't led worship since the end of July. I was a bit rusty going in this morning, which only served to amplify the anxiety of leading in this context.
I was also tired, having spent most of yesterday traveling back from the East Coast, and had a sinus headache due to the change in weather.
And the service was running long. As I walked back up to the chancel at the end of the peace, Dr. Keifert whispered to me "We need to move it along."
So as I approached the altar to begin the communion liturgy, I was trying to pick up the pace while remaining articulate in an echoey room and also not appear to be racing through the liturgy. I was also trying to remember to say "new testament" instead of "new covenant" in the words of institution, as that would tie directly to what Dr. K said in his sermon.
I made it through all that just fine.
But at the end of it, I completely forgot to lead us into the Lord's Prayer.
The congregation knew it, they didn't sit down the first time I gestured for them to sit down.
I still hadn't realized my mistake so gestured again, that time they sat.
I realized my mistake after communion was over, when I finally flipped the page in the leader book and saw, not the post-communion blessing that I expected, but the Lord's Prayer staring back at me.
This is why it's good I have a strong inner monologue because inside my head I went "Oh SH*T!" Thankfully that didn't also come out my mouth and into the rockstar microphone wrapped around my ear.
I was completely embarrassed, I'm sure my ears flushed as red as my hair through the close of the service.
Despite the glaringly obvious flub, several friends and professors were kind enough to compliment my presence up front and gracious enough to chuckle about the mistake as a good reminder of our imperfect humanity.
I used to joke about this in the parish, but the kindness of these others affirmed it once again today: it seems a decent voice and a pretty pectoral cross will cover a plethora of liturgical sins. :)
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