Maybe it was because I know so many folks who are wrestling with the dustiness of this life right now: the parishioner who just kept vigil with her sister as she died an awful death of cancer; another watching his father lose ground to the same disease every day; the couple my age agonizing their way through a complicated pregnancy; the young woman also losing her battle with a vicious cancer, knowing she only has a couple weeks left to live. . .and these are just a few examples of what people I know are dealing with right now. . .
Or maybe it was because I started thinking about Jean and Ethel and Mousy and all the other saints who were still remembering that they were dust on Ash Wednesday of 2008, and have subsequently returned to the dust over the course of this past year. . .
Or maybe it was because two year old Jindrah, who absolutely loves to remember his baptism and make the sign of the cross on his forehead, approached me and the kneeler last night with this huge anticipatory smile on his face, but left with a look of confusion and hurt when I didn't smile back this time and had marked him, not with water, but with ash. . .
Whatever it was, Ash Wednesday really got to me last night. It pained me to be making those crosses, to be reminding these people I love and care about that they're going to die, every last one of them, from the two year old to the ninety year old and everyone in between - and only God knows when each of their journeys will come to an end. I've certainly buried some folks I didn't expect to this past year, as well as those I knew were dying and would not make it to be marked in ash once more.
Life is precious. . .life is so, SO precious. . .and we squander and abuse and disregard so much of it. . .
Seize the day, friends, and rejoice in it, whatever it may bring. Because today itself is chock full of life, and this day is the only day you know for sure you've got.
Peace,
C.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Standin' in the Need of Prayer
Sometimes God knocks you onto your keester, and that's a good thing.
This weekend was the annual Upper Susquehanna Synod Youth Retreat at Camp Mount Luther. As has become the custom over the past few years, Breen and Patrick were the main organizers of the event, and I was in charge of planning and leading the music. Our theme this year was prayer.
I have to admit, I did not arrive yesterday afternoon in a very prayerful or retreatful mood. It had been a long week, and stressful in a variety of ways, with another long and stressful week looming on the horizon. On top of that, shortly after I set everything up, I discovered that my amp was broken. Needless to say, this only amplified my crabby mood - I was irritated both that the amp was broken and that I had now lugged it all the way out to the camp for nothing. Not a very happy camper, indeed.
But then the retreat started, and the kids were participating in the singing a lot better than they did last year, and we were having fun and learning good stuff, and by the end of the night, my spirits had lightened.
Then we had a medical emergency in the middle of the night. Truly, I am thankful that it all played out the way it did - it was someone in our cabin, Breen had all the permission slips and medical information right there, and we knew which cabin her pastor was in, which cabin Patrick was in, and which cabin had a chaperone who is a paramedic, so we went out into the night to fetch all three of them, and when we decided to call 911, the ambulance came in very quietly so it didn't wake up and freak out the rest of the camp, nor expose the sick girl to any extra humiliation. There were other kids in our cabin, but they all stayed calm and don't seem too traumatized by the experience, probably in part because all of the adults stayed calm as we were dealing with it. The girl did go the hospital, and was ultimately fine, and the incident opened our eyes to some things that need to be addressed for the future, like, for an event this size we should always try to have a nurse or paramedic as part of the retreat staff, and from now on we should make sure all the adult chaperones know in which cabins the leaders and medical help are sleeping, in case something like this happens to one of their cabins next time. So, good will come out of this.
And none of this in itself had much an influence on my mood - but it did mean I was even more sleep deprived than usual for day two of this retreat.
So, I was pretty tired all day, and trying to stay high energy for the music and workshops I was leading, regardless. But some of the kids were testing the limits of our authority today - especially some of mine and Breen's kids (who, as previously noted on this blog, tend to get really squirrelly when they get together), and I was starting to get a little crabby again.
And then this afternoon, right before final worship was to begin, I finally snapped at some of them. We were doing a variation of prayer around the cross as part of closing worship, and I had spent the better part of an hour during "free time" setting up the prayer stations. And here we were, just a few minutes before worship, candles at the prayer stations already lit, and the kids come in and start moving stuff around and picking up the lit candles and walking around with them. I saw it happen and yelled at them from across the room to put everything back and leave it alone, and as soon as I said it, I regretted how I had said it, because it came out unduly angry.
And then a couple minutes later I was singing our opening song "It's Me, O Lord, Standin' in the Need of Prayer," and by the end of the first verse it occurred to me that it really was me standing in the need of prayer, that here I'd been feeling really stressed out and in this bad mood off and on for the past couple days, and I had just taken it out unfairly on somebody else, and it wasn't so much their need to shape up as my own need to be set aright that's at issue.
Then later in the service Patrick preached an awesome sermon that not only tied together so much of what we'd been learning and talking and singing about the past 24 hours, but also spoke right to some of my own fears, worries, and stresses of the past few weeks. It was freeing and humbling all at the same time.
Yup, sometimes God knocks you right onto your keester, and that's the very best thing God could do.
Happy Transfiguration. Sing your heart out on those Alleluias tomorrow!
C.
This weekend was the annual Upper Susquehanna Synod Youth Retreat at Camp Mount Luther. As has become the custom over the past few years, Breen and Patrick were the main organizers of the event, and I was in charge of planning and leading the music. Our theme this year was prayer.
I have to admit, I did not arrive yesterday afternoon in a very prayerful or retreatful mood. It had been a long week, and stressful in a variety of ways, with another long and stressful week looming on the horizon. On top of that, shortly after I set everything up, I discovered that my amp was broken. Needless to say, this only amplified my crabby mood - I was irritated both that the amp was broken and that I had now lugged it all the way out to the camp for nothing. Not a very happy camper, indeed.
But then the retreat started, and the kids were participating in the singing a lot better than they did last year, and we were having fun and learning good stuff, and by the end of the night, my spirits had lightened.
Then we had a medical emergency in the middle of the night. Truly, I am thankful that it all played out the way it did - it was someone in our cabin, Breen had all the permission slips and medical information right there, and we knew which cabin her pastor was in, which cabin Patrick was in, and which cabin had a chaperone who is a paramedic, so we went out into the night to fetch all three of them, and when we decided to call 911, the ambulance came in very quietly so it didn't wake up and freak out the rest of the camp, nor expose the sick girl to any extra humiliation. There were other kids in our cabin, but they all stayed calm and don't seem too traumatized by the experience, probably in part because all of the adults stayed calm as we were dealing with it. The girl did go the hospital, and was ultimately fine, and the incident opened our eyes to some things that need to be addressed for the future, like, for an event this size we should always try to have a nurse or paramedic as part of the retreat staff, and from now on we should make sure all the adult chaperones know in which cabins the leaders and medical help are sleeping, in case something like this happens to one of their cabins next time. So, good will come out of this.
And none of this in itself had much an influence on my mood - but it did mean I was even more sleep deprived than usual for day two of this retreat.
So, I was pretty tired all day, and trying to stay high energy for the music and workshops I was leading, regardless. But some of the kids were testing the limits of our authority today - especially some of mine and Breen's kids (who, as previously noted on this blog, tend to get really squirrelly when they get together), and I was starting to get a little crabby again.
And then this afternoon, right before final worship was to begin, I finally snapped at some of them. We were doing a variation of prayer around the cross as part of closing worship, and I had spent the better part of an hour during "free time" setting up the prayer stations. And here we were, just a few minutes before worship, candles at the prayer stations already lit, and the kids come in and start moving stuff around and picking up the lit candles and walking around with them. I saw it happen and yelled at them from across the room to put everything back and leave it alone, and as soon as I said it, I regretted how I had said it, because it came out unduly angry.
And then a couple minutes later I was singing our opening song "It's Me, O Lord, Standin' in the Need of Prayer," and by the end of the first verse it occurred to me that it really was me standing in the need of prayer, that here I'd been feeling really stressed out and in this bad mood off and on for the past couple days, and I had just taken it out unfairly on somebody else, and it wasn't so much their need to shape up as my own need to be set aright that's at issue.
Then later in the service Patrick preached an awesome sermon that not only tied together so much of what we'd been learning and talking and singing about the past 24 hours, but also spoke right to some of my own fears, worries, and stresses of the past few weeks. It was freeing and humbling all at the same time.
Yup, sometimes God knocks you right onto your keester, and that's the very best thing God could do.
Happy Transfiguration. Sing your heart out on those Alleluias tomorrow!
C.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Facing the Elephant
Even though we ELCA Lutherans have been intentionally engaging one another in conversations about human sexuality lo these last seven or eight years, in a lot of ways, in a lot of congregations, it's still the giant elephant in the room that many are trying to ignore and are hoping against hope will just go away on its own.
This year we are finally, fully facing the elephant. Today the ELCA released the final draft of the sexuality statment, Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust, which is to be voted upon at the churchwide assembly this coming August. They also released the policy recommendations of the Task Force that has been working this statement and all the study leading up to it. For the curious, you can find links to download both of them here.
I only had time to skim part of the policy recommendations today, but my initial thoughts are that they are a) very Lutheran, and b) the best possible recommendations for us to move forward as a church lacking consensus on this matter. More detailed thoughts on this and the statement itself yet to come, as I have time to read and process it more thoroughly (why do they keep releasing this stuff right before a major holy day???), but for now, I send you to the ever thoughtful reflections of my friend Choral Girl.
This year we are finally, fully facing the elephant. Today the ELCA released the final draft of the sexuality statment, Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust, which is to be voted upon at the churchwide assembly this coming August. They also released the policy recommendations of the Task Force that has been working this statement and all the study leading up to it. For the curious, you can find links to download both of them here.
I only had time to skim part of the policy recommendations today, but my initial thoughts are that they are a) very Lutheran, and b) the best possible recommendations for us to move forward as a church lacking consensus on this matter. More detailed thoughts on this and the statement itself yet to come, as I have time to read and process it more thoroughly (why do they keep releasing this stuff right before a major holy day???), but for now, I send you to the ever thoughtful reflections of my friend Choral Girl.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The Best Laid Plans
I love the ELCA, I really, genuinely do. I know a lot of pastors grumble about the bureaucracy of "Higgins Road," but I fully support the church in all its expressions - local congregations, synods, and national churchwide offices. I think the churchwide office in Chicago coordinates some amazing ministry that would otherwise not be possible, or at least, would not be nearly as efficient.
In spite of this love, I am not very happy with the ELCA at this moment. And it has to do, of all things, with curriculum! Last fall, the World Hunger circular advertised a new curriculum called "Taking Root." It is geared toward children and teenagers, but (supposedly) could easily be turned into an intergenerational experience. It is five sessions long - conveniently, the same number of evenings most Lutheran churches offer mid-week Lenten programs.
"Perfect!" I thought, "Lent is taken care of." I ordered the materials in early January, they were due to be released mid-January. By late January they had still not arrived, so I called Augsburg Fortress to see if my order (it was placed online) got lost in some black hole of cyberspace. Nope - the order was there, but the ELCA is running behind schedule, has not yet released the curriculum. "Let me guess," says the operator, "you want to use the material for Lent?" I wasn't the only pastor who had this brilliant epiphany, apparently. :)
The operator said she would send on the rest of the order (other world hunger resources - we're having a whole hunger focus this Lent), and let the ELCA rep know once again that they need to hurry up on the Taking Root materials. I figured they would come when I was on vacation.
Instead, an email came from Augsburg, telling me they've basically washed their hands of the whole deal. No, really, it's that they told the ELCA it would be faster to ship from there directly, instead of sending the orders to Augsburg to be reprocessed. That was last week.
Lent starts next week, and Taking Root has yet to arrive. Technically, I don't absolutely need it until two weeks from now, because we just have a service on Ash Wednesday, no dinner or program. But I was kind of hoping to have some time to look it over and figure out how to adapt it for intergenerational use. Plus, I only ordered one sample of each age group (elementary, jr, and sr high) because I thought I would have plenty of time to order more materials once I decided which pieces I was going to use for our group. As it stands now, it looks like I'm going to end up writing my own hunger curriculum, which is what I was trying to avoid by ordering this stuff in the first place!
So, that's why I'm grumpy with the ELCA tonight. If anybody's got suggestions for hunger-related curriculum (other than the Real Meal Deal, which I already have, and whose statistics are way outdated by now), please send them my way.
Peace,
C.
In spite of this love, I am not very happy with the ELCA at this moment. And it has to do, of all things, with curriculum! Last fall, the World Hunger circular advertised a new curriculum called "Taking Root." It is geared toward children and teenagers, but (supposedly) could easily be turned into an intergenerational experience. It is five sessions long - conveniently, the same number of evenings most Lutheran churches offer mid-week Lenten programs.
"Perfect!" I thought, "Lent is taken care of." I ordered the materials in early January, they were due to be released mid-January. By late January they had still not arrived, so I called Augsburg Fortress to see if my order (it was placed online) got lost in some black hole of cyberspace. Nope - the order was there, but the ELCA is running behind schedule, has not yet released the curriculum. "Let me guess," says the operator, "you want to use the material for Lent?" I wasn't the only pastor who had this brilliant epiphany, apparently. :)
The operator said she would send on the rest of the order (other world hunger resources - we're having a whole hunger focus this Lent), and let the ELCA rep know once again that they need to hurry up on the Taking Root materials. I figured they would come when I was on vacation.
Instead, an email came from Augsburg, telling me they've basically washed their hands of the whole deal. No, really, it's that they told the ELCA it would be faster to ship from there directly, instead of sending the orders to Augsburg to be reprocessed. That was last week.
Lent starts next week, and Taking Root has yet to arrive. Technically, I don't absolutely need it until two weeks from now, because we just have a service on Ash Wednesday, no dinner or program. But I was kind of hoping to have some time to look it over and figure out how to adapt it for intergenerational use. Plus, I only ordered one sample of each age group (elementary, jr, and sr high) because I thought I would have plenty of time to order more materials once I decided which pieces I was going to use for our group. As it stands now, it looks like I'm going to end up writing my own hunger curriculum, which is what I was trying to avoid by ordering this stuff in the first place!
So, that's why I'm grumpy with the ELCA tonight. If anybody's got suggestions for hunger-related curriculum (other than the Real Meal Deal, which I already have, and whose statistics are way outdated by now), please send them my way.
Peace,
C.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Signs of the Times
While I can reliably arrive at the Harrisburg airport a mere hour before my flight is scheduled to leave and confidently make it through check-in and security, and arrive at my gate with time to spare, the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport is much larger and much busier, so I normally give myself the full recommended two hours to negotiate it. And there have been times when MSP was so busy, even two hours was cutting it close, and I found myself racing to the gate just in time to begin boarding.
But last Tuesday evening was not one of those times. In fact, the airport was eerily unbusy. I didn't have to wait in line to check in or to get through security, which has never happened to me before. I mean, even Harrisburg at the crack of dawn has a line - not a very big line (hence the ability to arrive only an hour early) - but a line all the same. I've gotta say, while the experience was admittedly convenient, it was also kind of creepy because it was so unusual. And I can only chalk it up to the current state of the economy combined with the rising cost of airfare and baggage fees - people just aren't flying.
On other fronts, All My Children has been pimping V8 juices, Prego sauces, and Campbell's Soup for the past two weeks, in glaringly obvious, whack-you-over-the-head kind of ways. I know product placement has been common in movies for many years already, but it hasn't been as predominant on television, and especially not on the soaps. On the one hand, the way the characters bring up the products in their dialogue is so random it's kind of funny, and became a running joke between my mom and I, as I would randomly offer her a V8 throughout the week I was home. But, seriously, I'm hoping it's just a temporary thing as part of their promotion of women's heart health awareness, and not the latest, greatest way for them to stay financially solvent, because the humor is wearing thin at this point.
Happy Valentine's Day,
C.
But last Tuesday evening was not one of those times. In fact, the airport was eerily unbusy. I didn't have to wait in line to check in or to get through security, which has never happened to me before. I mean, even Harrisburg at the crack of dawn has a line - not a very big line (hence the ability to arrive only an hour early) - but a line all the same. I've gotta say, while the experience was admittedly convenient, it was also kind of creepy because it was so unusual. And I can only chalk it up to the current state of the economy combined with the rising cost of airfare and baggage fees - people just aren't flying.
On other fronts, All My Children has been pimping V8 juices, Prego sauces, and Campbell's Soup for the past two weeks, in glaringly obvious, whack-you-over-the-head kind of ways. I know product placement has been common in movies for many years already, but it hasn't been as predominant on television, and especially not on the soaps. On the one hand, the way the characters bring up the products in their dialogue is so random it's kind of funny, and became a running joke between my mom and I, as I would randomly offer her a V8 throughout the week I was home. But, seriously, I'm hoping it's just a temporary thing as part of their promotion of women's heart health awareness, and not the latest, greatest way for them to stay financially solvent, because the humor is wearing thin at this point.
Happy Valentine's Day,
C.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Ok, Now I'm Starting to Get a Complex
First it was the deer incident last Thursday. Now today, as I was on my way to Flaketown, a tire blew out on the Posermobile!
I didn't realize what was happening at first, because I was on a stretch of 35W that's not in very good shape, and the car usually makes weird noises and drives a little rough there, so I thought it was just that. But I soon realized something more was going on, so I slowed down and moved over to the shoulder, which is when I knew things were seriously wrong, as I saw bits of rubber fly out in front of the car and watched most of the rest of the tire keep rolling up the exit ramp for County Road D.
So now, after a few hours of adventure, I'm back at Dad and Brenda's, hanging with the dogs and waiting for the garage to call and tell me that the car is fixed. What a way to start vacation. . .
And I'm thinking, anything else happens this week, I just may give up automobiles for the rest of the winter!
I didn't realize what was happening at first, because I was on a stretch of 35W that's not in very good shape, and the car usually makes weird noises and drives a little rough there, so I thought it was just that. But I soon realized something more was going on, so I slowed down and moved over to the shoulder, which is when I knew things were seriously wrong, as I saw bits of rubber fly out in front of the car and watched most of the rest of the tire keep rolling up the exit ramp for County Road D.
So now, after a few hours of adventure, I'm back at Dad and Brenda's, hanging with the dogs and waiting for the garage to call and tell me that the car is fixed. What a way to start vacation. . .
And I'm thinking, anything else happens this week, I just may give up automobiles for the rest of the winter!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)