Evangelizing Funerals?

I had a really strange funeral today. First, both the Masons and the American Legion were there to do their little spiels (the Masons at the funeral home, the Legion at the cemetery). I don't mind that they are there, but I am adamant that they go first. The Masons were fine with that, but the Vets were grousing.

One guy in particular kept griping about it, and as we're all standing there by the casket at the graveside, waiting for all the family and friends to come down the hill and gather round, he turned to me and angrily asked "Why?"

Pastor C: "Because God gets the last word."
Angry Vet: "Taps gets the last word - you get all the rest! (consternated grimace). . .None of the others ask us to go first!"

(I know this is pure bullsh*t because many of my fellow Lutheran clergy, at least, are as adamant about this as I am. I don't know if he thought he could bully me because I'm young and a girl, or if he caught sight of the "War is Not the Answer" sticker on my bumper and thought I was acting out some passive-aggressive vendetta against the armed forces, or what, exactly, possessed him to pick this fight at that particular moment, but my policy is firm no matter who you are or what organization you represent)

PC: (shaking my head, firm but respectful) "God gets the last word."

AV: (exasperated pause) "He's our God too, you know."
PC: "I believe He is, and I believe God deserves to have the last word today. That's what I was taught, and that's how I preside."

He quit arguing with me at that point, more because the family was now gathered under the tent than because I had convinced him of the correctness of my praxis. If I had been thinking quicker on my feet, I would have added, "I'm about to throw a bunch of dirt on top of the casket, and I doubt you want that landing on the flag."

But believe it or not, that was not the weirdest nor worst part of the day. The worst part was during the service, especially as I was giving the sermon - none of it seemed to be connecting at all. My normal funeral sermon strategy is to just pay attention to people, to draw out stories about the deceased and listen for a prevailing image or metaphor in their life story that becomes the sermon's rhetorical hook and the place where I graft their story into God's story. The trouble was, the family really gave me almost nothing to go on. I tried every trick I could think of to get them talking, but they just couldn't think of anything. I consulted some folks in the community, which did help to flesh things out a little. And when all else fails, just focus on the promises of Christ, right? But even that didn't seem like it was resonating.

I came to realize halfway through the service, these are the folks bishop Michael Curry was talking about at the Festival last week - people who have not been raised in the womb of the church, people who weren't resonating with the old, old story because they aren't all that familiar with it. Had I realized that sooner, I would have taken a different tack with the sermon.

But now that's got me thinking as to what tack, exactly, I would or should have taken. My worship and preaching professors at seminary often talked about funerals as incredible opportunities to evangelize** precisely because people who have never heard the story and who may never step into a sanctuary on Sunday morning will come to a funeral, and everybody, churched and unchurched alike, are generally never more hungry for the gospel than when they are staring into the ugly maw of death.

So how much of the story, then, do we tell? On the one hand, a funeral doesn't seem like the time or place to give a complete rundown of God's saving work in human history, the life of Christ, and the doctrine of justification. On the other, if people aren't familiar with the basic story, how can we effectively graft them into it and help them claim it as their own? And if we don't give them the story here, where else are they going to get it?

Peace,
Catrina


**not in a creepy, fundamentalist, taking-hostages-for-Christ kind of way, but in a literal sharing the good news of life and grace and hope in the midst of death and decay and destruction kind of way