Let's Talk About S-x, Baby

Well, the ELCA's draft statement on sexuality was finally released today. In the interest of full disclosure, I have not read it all - I'm going to print it out at work tomorrow so I can mark it up as I go through it. But I did read about the last 15 pages of it (atypically jumped to the end and worked my way backwards).

So, these are some initial reactions based on what I have read so far:

I have to say, I'm surprised by how strongly the statement condemns cohabitation, as well as how strongly I reacted to that condemnation.

First, a semantic issue - that section's heading says it will address sexual relations outside of marriage, but then uses the word cohabitation throughout the rest of that segment, as though the two were interchangable. While it may be true that many who are cohabiting are also sleeping together, it's not true of everybody - yet everybody who lives together outside of marriage is condemned, the way I read this statement.

Second, a justice issue - in the section on marriage, the statement clearly affirms the traditional definition of marriage to be a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman. Thus, such strong condemnation of cohabitation seems to me like a back-door way of condemning homosexual relationships (which would, by the definitions laid out in the document, merely be cohabiting).

Third, an outreach issue - we keep saying we want to reach out to the young adults who are noticiably absent in our congregations. The hard facts on the ground tell us that many of these young adults have, are, or will live together outside the bonds of holy matrimony. So, what, are we reaching out only to slap them in the face? That's a great invitation.

Fourth, a personal issue - as the child of a broken marriage and a very nasty, protracted divorce, I understand the impulse to "test the waters," the desire to live with someone for a while before you commit yourself to them for life, I understand the logic that says it's better to make a short-term mistake than a lifelong one. I think a lot of young adults carry some similar emtional baggage, and that is part of what is driving the trend in cohabitation. So, given that I share in my generation's "issues" and attitudes toward marriage, given that, were it not for being a pastor, I myself might insist on a trial period of cohabitation before tying the knot (and fully believe it is possible to do so chastely) - how can I cast this stone? I can't. Not without being a huge hypocrite.

So those are my biggest critiques thus far. In fairness, I'm sure the conservatives in the church are also going to gripe that the document is a tacit acceptance of homosexual relationships, since it affirms that the church is called to minister to all of God's children, and one possible way of ministry "will call our same-gender-oriented brothers and sisters in Christ to establish relationships that are chaste, mutual, monogamous, and life-long. These relationships are to be held to the same rigorous standards and sexual ethics as all others."

So, once again it seems we've managed to come up with a document that includes a little bit of something for everybody to hate! I'll be curious to see how the debates unfold.

I also had to laugh out loud at the section that affirmed singleness, particularly the part that said "It [the church] recognizes
that unmarried members, single or otherwise, have distinctive forms of commitment to and reliance upon friends,
family members, coworkers, and the fellowship of Christ." Yeah, that's why the ELCA keeps sending its young single pastors to live in isolation, often in rural areas, though sometimes, pardoxically, in the midst of major cities, but in both cases, far from the family and friends to whom they are committed and upon whom they so distinctly rely (and I say that as one of the lucky ones who landed 20 minutes away from her best friend - my outrage is on behalf of my not-so-lucky friends and colleagues who bravely continue to serve God and create a life out of a rather lonely existence with virtually no thanks to or help from the wider church).

So, I'm sure I'll have more to say once I've actually read through the whole document, start to finish. But I'm curious to hear other reactions, especially from you fellow Lutherans. Leave a comment here, write on your own blog, send me an e-mail, but consider yourself tagged.

Peace,
Catrina

PS - In the good news department, the sunglasses have been found, they fell out of my pocket at the Stone's house. They are now safely back at my house, where they patiently await my next attempt to lose them.